


Post-Happily Ever After

by Hawke



Series: Culrian: fate is a conspiracy that drags them apart, love is a bond that draws them together [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Flashbacks, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, PTSD, cullen does the things he does because he had Issues, dorian does the things he does because he loves cullen, sick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 04:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawke/pseuds/Hawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen continues to suffer from his lyrium withdrawals, but this time Dorian cannot fix it so easily, so he does the unthinkable. Can Cullen ever forgive him?</p><p>Sequel but can be read as standalone (although you should really read the other stuff first...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lyrium withdrawal is not so easily cured

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back :)  
> (Btw, NZ was awesome, fuel is bloody expensive there though!)
> 
> I am currently in uni term so while I promise this story will be finished, I warn you that for the next thirteen and a half weeks, Biomedical Science and my Uni are currently using me as their double teaming bitch. So I may update irregularly. I do plan to write at least 1500 words per chapter (yeah I know that is less than the 2000 I promised in the prev. story but shhhhhhhhhhhut up)  
> Thanks to everyone that reads, comments, kudos or just hangs around :)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the thing I wrote

Dorian had turned up to the gardens almost half an hour earlier than he and Cullen usually played and begun to set up the chess set. With that done, he pulled out a book that Solas had lent him: Arlathan, and proceeded to read while waiting. Distracted by reading tales of ancient elvhan,  
Dorian only realised how much time had passed when he was squinting to read the text on the old, dusty tome. Skyhold's days were short in winter, and he had probably been sitting there for close to two hours lost in his book. His father had often chided him for having his head stuck in books when he should be out socialising, and it was true that if not for food and rest he could read forever while the world went on without him. Although, as he got older he began to socialise in a more physical way that his father definitely didn't approve of. 

Dorian pocketed his book and stood up, intent on finding the missing Commander. He wasn't very worried, although Cullen's workload had been heavy of late. Dorian would often go to sleep before Cullen came to bed and wake up just as alone, the only sign of the Fereldan man's presence being the dent in the pillow on his side of the bed. 

He had tried to convince the Commander to delegate, had reminded him that it wasn't all that long ago that he had been bedridden, but Cullen was convinced he had to personally oversee everything. It reminded Dorian of their dear inquisitor a bit, the only time anyone saw their elusive leader was at judgements, and even then it was only a day and they would be off again, chasing dragons and saving the world from the forces of evil. 

Dorian walked up to the war room, Cullen may just be in a long meeting, although if that was the case he would have likely sent a messenger to the gardens to inform Dorian. 

"Oh hello Josephine." 

Looking up from her desk, Josephine smiled, "Always a pleasure Dorian. What can I do for you?"

"I was looking for Cullen actually." 

Josephine frowned, "Sorry, I haven't seen him since this morning's meeting. He left early because he was tired."

Dorian cocked his head, slightly confused, "What? He decided he was tired and excused himself? Are we talking about the same Commander Cullen? Ass-end of nowhere Fereldan born, curly blond hair, stubborn bastard, cute butt -"

"He didn't leave voluntarily," Josephine interrupted, "Cassandra was sick of having to repeat everything twice and he actually dozed off standing up at the war table. You should contain your nighttime activities, he needs as much energy as possible to pour into the inquisition."

Dorian laughed, "I haven't been exhausting him Josie, we've barely talked, he's gone before I'm awake and gets to bed well after I'm asleep."

"Then I suggest the commander take a few days to rest and recuperate."

"You try convincing him to take a personal day. I don't think he's stopped working since he joined the Templars."

"And here I thought he spawned fully formed as a knight." Josephine teased.

"I should go find him."

Josie agreed and Dorian thanked her before heading toward Cullen's office, trying to ignore his niggling sense of foreboding by reminding himself that Cullen often got caught up in his work. Maybe he would get to their rooms and Cullen would be curled up in the bed sleeping peacefully. And maybe Tevinter would free all it's slaves, his father would accept his sexuality and the skies would rain gold. They were never so lucky.

"Cullen?" Dorian called as he stepped into the commander's study. 

Seeing Cullen not at his desk, Dorian's eyes moved around the room until they fell upon a hunched, shaking, feathery figure in front of the bookshelves on the other side of the room. 

"Cullen?" Dorian repeated as he carefully walked over. 

There was no response except for the continued shaking.

Dorian felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Why wasn't he answering? Hundreds of different reasons flitted through his mind in the few seconds it took him to cross the room. Stroke, possession, the lyrium withdrawal-

As Cullen's face came into view, Dorians heart sunk. The ex-Templar was staring blankly into the wall, his eyelids fluttering rapidly as bright red blood streamed from his nose to make a mess of the front of his armour. 

Dorian reached out to grab Cullen's shoulder and that finally seemed to prompt a response out of the man. He jerked backward and stumbled away from Dorian. He had only moved a few steps before his eyes rolled up into his skull and he slumped to the ground.

Leaping forward, Dorian grabbed Cullen's shoulders and head and eased the man's limp body to the ground. Dorian didn't need his magic to see the rapidly throbbing pulse on the Commander's neck and the shallow breaths he was struggling to take. Dorian bent Cullen's leg over, pulled his arm up, and rolled him over. The position was uncomfortable, but would ensure that Cullen didn't choke while he was unconscious. 

Dorian slid his hand up and down Cullen's body, trying to find the source of his seizure and subsequent collapse. While he found that Cullen's body was crying out for deep and restful sleep, he was unable to pinpoint the underlying reason behind the insomnia before Cullen began to stir. Dorian eased him onto his back. Cullen's eyes fluttered open and his looked around before finally settling his gaze somewhere in the vicinity of Dorian's face.

"Wha - D'rion?" 

Dorian grasped Cullen's slack hand and leaned forward. "Amatus? Cullen? Can you hear me?"

"T-too much. M-m-make it s-s-stop." 

Dorian was thrown back into those moments months earlier when Cullen had been delirious from hypothermia and the early stages of lyrium withdrawal. He was wearing his usual clothing so it certainly wasn't the cold, which left a relapse of his withdrawal symptoms. Dorian honestly wasn't surprised. He had thought at the time that more than ten years of reliance on lyrium would take longer than a few weeks to overcome, and apparently he had been correct. Dorian mentally cursed himself, he had been so focused on his and Cullen's developing relationship he had completely forgot to monitor Cullen for continued withdrawal symptoms.

Refocusing on the shaking semiconscious ex-Templar before him, Dorian realised he would have to provide him with proper fade-dwelling sleep or Cullen would perish he knew that at this stage he could only treat the symptoms of the withdrawal, the only known cure for the withdrawal itself was lyrium. He laid down next to Cullen and grasped him by the hand.

"We'll fix this amatus, for good this time." 

Dorian reached out with his spirit magic to knock Cullen into sleep as he had so often done when the commander had been ill from the hypothermia. He then crafted a spell between the two of that would allow Dorian to join Cullen's dreamscape in the fade. From there, he would be able to ensure Cullen received some measure of rest.

 

It took a moment for Dorian to get his bearings. Weird physics-defying stalagmites? Check. The harsh feeling of demons whispering their vices into his ear? Check. The ever present creepy Black City hanging over the whole of the fade? Check. Blond ex-Templar commander of the inquisition? Not so much. Dorian looked around but couldn't find Cullen. He navigated the fade for a while but he knew that if Cullen wasn't within a few metres then the spell had failed of Cullen hadn't entered the fade. Dorian could feel the spell throbbing between his body, Cullen's body, and his own mind, which left a terrible conclusion. Dorian began to worry, and he carefully dragged himself out of the fade and back into Cullen's office. 

 

When Dorian woke, he was shocked to see the world was pitch black, brightened only by the smattering of stars that curved along the sky, visible through the hole in Cullen's roof. He had obviously spend more time in the fade then he had intended. 

Dorian's time in the fade had left Cullen alone and ill, and Dorian was shocked to see the man had deteriorated. Cullen was lying limp and supine on the ground, his face was a deathly white and he was barely breathing. 

Dorian was certain that it was the severe lack of sleep that was causing Cullen's symptoms. Unfortunately, the only way he knew to connect someone to the fade was through lyrium or through the spell he had just used that **obviously hadn't worked**. 

Dorian grabbed Cullen by the arms and could almost feel the life draining out of the commander's body. Dorian gasped, he hadn't quite realised how bad the commander was doing, but Cullen had mere minutes to live, if that, Dorian knew what he was about to do would make Cullen hate him, but Dorian reasoned that he would be alive to feel hate.

Dorian reached into his robes.

Grabbed the lyrium potion.

Uncorked the bottle. 

Propped Cullen upright.

Eased the lip of the small vial of processed lyrium into Cullen's mouth.

And tipped it down his throat.


	2. Vivid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter jumps around a bit, but I think it still works (maybe)  
> Anyway, explicit sexytimes.

_Cullen felt better than he had in a very long time. He was lying on the softest grass he had ever encountered, feeling the smooth blades caressing his naked body. It reminded him of his childhood in Honnleath before he joined the Templars. There was sense he was forgetting something (usually his chores), but it was eclipsed by the feeling of youthful peace. There was nothing that required his immediate attention, he wasn't in any pain, he was content to lay on the ground motionless, staring at the disconcerting sky._

_The grass under Cullen's body began to itch and, after an indeterminate amount of time, he decided to get up. As he looked around properly, he could have sworn reality seemed to shift around him. The grass shifted beneath his feet into cool stone, and a nearby sunflower began to grow before his eyes. The petals spread out until each were almost as wide in diameter as Cullen was tall, before merging together into one giant petal. The stem seemed to split evenly into four sections that held up the petal from four corners. Eventually the wavy petal transformed into the wavy sheets on a bed, the structure being supported by the wide flower stems._

_Cullen had stopped taking notice when he saw the person waiting on the bed for him. Before starting his relationship with Dorian, Cullen had always believed mages to be physically unfit. He thought they just spent the whole day in the library focusing on the mind and not bothering to exercise their bodies. The evidence before him reminded Cullen that circle mages who couldn't leave the tower were very different from runaway Tevinter Altus._

_Dorian was reclined back at the head of the bed, completely naked. Whereas Cullen sometimes sported a minor tan that transformed into paler skin where his clothes sat, Dorian either had a naturally constant skin tone, or he magically ensured it. From his sharp eyes to his chiselled abdominal muscles to his -_

_"Are you going to look at me all day Amatus? Or are you going to come over here and **touch**?" Dorian smiled wickedly at Cullen. Keeping eye contact with the flabbergasted blond, Dorian slid his hands down his body, caressing his perky nipples and hard abs teasingly. _

_Cullen growled and leapt onto the bed, straddling Dorian's thighs. Their mouths came together in a harsh smashing of lips, tongue and teeth before Cullen slid further down the bed to position his head over Dorian's pelvis._

_Pushing the mages legs up, Cullen leant forward and gently began to probe Dorians asshole with his tongue. Dorian moaned at the sensation as Cullen licked a big stripe up the mages ass._

_"What does it feel like?" Cullen asked breathlessly._

_"What does what feel like?"_

_"Being fucked."_

_Dorian gasped, pretending shock, "My, my, chantry boy. Swearing is naughty."_

_Cullen laughed and lent forward for a kiss. They traded passionate tongues and crushing lips before breaking apart. "You forget that Templars are basically chantry soldiers, we swear a lot, just not where you Tevinter heathens can hear."_

_"It's ... full and ... I can't describe it. We could- if you want?" Dorian was hesitant about suggesting it._

_Cullen shifted awkwardly. He liked the idea, but had never had anything bigger than his own prostate-seeking finger up there before. "I don't know."_

_Dorian pondered for a moment. "How about you fuck me to get relaxed and I help you explore 'down there'" Cullen laughed at that, "and if you feel uncomfortable just say something and I'll stop."_

_Cullen thought for a moment before agreeing. He trusted Dorian implicitly, he had every faith that Dorian would never do something that he didn't want or that would harm him._

_As Dorian rolled over to his hands and knees, Cullen realised the flaw in their plan. "Wait. If I'm fucking you, how will you fuck me?"_

_Dorian answered by wiggling his fingers, producing a little spark that jumped between two of them._

_Cullen felt slick appear on his fingers, and he slowly began to open Dorian up. The first finger went in straight to the webbing of Cullen's fingers, and the second one was almost as easy. Scissoring them for a few minutes to loosen Dorian up, Cullen then lined up his cock and slid it in._

_After a few thrusts, he felt a phantom touch at his ass. It slid slickly in and Cullen gasped at the sensation. If he hadn't known Dorian was lying under him leaning on his elbows to keep himself upright, Cullen could have sworn the man had pushed a physical finger into him._

_The advantage of being magically fucked was the lack of one finger, two finger, stretch, maybe a third, then insert penis, it was smooth and all at once. Cullen felt the sensation begin to expand in his ass, stretching his hole with constant pressure._

_Cullen moaned deeply._

_Suddenly the phantom presence, the magical cock, slid out and began thrust directly against Cullen's prostate. Dorian had been right, the sensation was difficult to describe. After a few seconds, Cullen jerked his own cock harshly into Dorian's ass, trying to match the mage's thrusts._

_They found a rhythm as they fucked each other, and the alien and pleasurable sensations of having a cock screw him pushed Cullen to the edge quickly. Dorian, as if sensing it, squeezed hard on Cullen's cock as he pushed the magical force against the other man's prostate. Cullen moaned deeply as he came, shuddering into Dorian. Once he had his trembling under control, Cullen reached around and jerked Dorian off._

_Dorian murmured a spell that cleaned them both up and they laid down on the bed. Cullen snuggled into Dorian's shoulder and looked up at the sky through the hole in his ceiling. He had never told Dorian, but the stars were the reason he stopped the builders from fixing it. Cullen frowned, there were no stars tonight, only a dark city that seemed to float in the middle of the sky._

_He was sure it was fine._

 

 

After the last of the lyrium went down Cullen's throat, Dorian eased him back to the ground. This time he didn't need the spell that has earlier followed Cullen into the fade, he could feel the ex-templar's body begin to recover as his mind dreamed. Dorian wiped the dribble of lyrium that had slid out from between Cullen's lips and it really began to sink in. He had betrayed Cullen, even if it had saved the man's life. 

What would he say when he woke up and realised what Dorian had done? He could lie - no. Lying was no basis for a relationship. Then again, neither was giving your boyfriend the drug that he had managed to avoid for so long. 

Dorian down at Cullen's sleeping form. His face was pale, there was a dark brown stain on his face from where the blood had pooled and dried, deep purple bags hung under his eyes, and yet his face was relaxed and open. He looked so much younger when resting and Dorian smiled slightly at the sight.

He pulled his book out of his pocket and began to stroke Cullen's sweat-soaked hair as he sat next to him and read. Eventually, as the sun began to stream through the hole in the roof, he felt a stirring under his hand as the commander awoke.

Cullen began to cough, and Dorian reached for the pitcher of water on Cullen's desk, pulled the man to sit upright and helped him drink. 

"D'rion?" Cullen slurred. 

"Morning Amatus. How do you feel?" 

Cullen looked around the room, and Dorians heart skipped a beat as Cullen's tongue rolled around the lyrium staining his teeth.

"Mmmm. Good. What happened?" 

"The withdrawal. You weren't dreaming and the lack of access to the fade was killing you." Dorian watched Cullen carefully as he explained.

"Okay. That explains why I've been tired. How did you fix it?" Cullen turned his gaze to Dorian, and the Altus couldn't help but notice that he lover looked much healthier than he had when he had been without the lyrium. The black bags were just a pale grey, his face had more colour, he looked better.

"I - I gave you lyrium, Cullen." Dorian felt his muscles tense in preparation for Cullen's reaction, ready to run or defend himself if need be. He didn't expect Cullen to nod absently and stand up.

"Cullen?" 

The commander strode over to the ladder and began to climb. Dorian made to follow, worried about the other man falling, but Cullen finally spoke up.

"Leave me."

"Cullen are you su-" 

"Get. Out. Now." Cullen interrupted. 

Dorian nodded. There was the reaction he was more expecting, however much it pained him. He nodded and walked to the door to the battlements.

"I will send someone with food and water, commander." Dorian didn't look back as he close the door and walked over the battlements to Solas's rooms. After asking the kitchens to send a plate of food to Cullen as soon as possible, Cullen retreated to his spot in the library. On the way, he passed Varric in the great hall.

"What's up Sparkler? Curly being difficult?"

Dorian walked past him toward his rooms without replying.

"Whoa, you don't look to great there, what did he do?" Varric stood up and almost jogged to catch up with Dorians long strides. 

He followed Dorian all the way to his rooms before Dorian turned to speak.

"If you continue to follow me, I will rip your heart out." Dorian turned back, opened his door, walked inside, slammed it closed and threw the bold home so hard that the clash followed the echo of the slamming door right down the hallway.

"I thought Broody was the only one who could remove hearts..." Varric muttered, as he walked away he could have sworn he heard sobs coming from behind Dorian's door. 

 

 

Cullen sat on his bed, looking down at the food he had been brought but couldn't bring himself to eat any. He couldn't understand how Dorian could betray him in such a way. He had worked so hard to resist temptation and now it was all for nothing. Regardless, he found himself leaning back in the bed and rolling his tongue around his mouth, seeking out every last drop of the sweet blue essence that had been forced on him.

**Author's Note:**

> The head canon that started it all: fade-dreams are REM sleep and you cannot survive without REM. ('Cept dwarves)  
> Okay so when non-dwarves sleep, they enter the fade when they go into REM, because that's when people dream. So not many Templars survive lyrium withdrawal yeah? Well for mages the lyrium can enhance their connection to the fade. so I'm gonna say that the Templars addiction causes their body to forget how to naturally enter the fade. While they are taking the lyrium it doesn't matter because the lyrium allows them to dream, but in the withdrawal, they have less and less lyrium in their system and begin to dream less vividly and less often until the day they go to sleep and don't dream at all. From there, they die within approx 10-20 days from lack of fade dwelling or REM sleep. 
> 
> And I know dreamers are the only mages who can really enter the fade at will and be completely aware while in there but stfu because creative licence.


End file.
